Happy Me.

"Happy Me", Beau says this alot, obviously when he is happy. So, I can't tell you how happy this picture makes me. So...I won't, and I can't. And I don't have to. Some things a person must keep to herself. But I will tell you this, I love how I can capture what I envisioned in my head and in a matter of seconds, I see it in reality. And for a dreamer like me, that doesn't happen much. What I feel, smell, love, think and so much more in just one shot. Every time I look at this, it will remind me to be happy. Happy Me.

Nice to meet you, Tamron.

So, I finally have my Tamron lens. With all the saving of cold, hard cash, minor ordering mishaps and setbacks, it is here and it is mine. Now, I've only had it about 24 hours and maybe had it in my hands for about 10 minutes. So, I have alot to learn from it. But this I already know, I like it alot. And I can't wait for Spring to come so the boys, the Tamron and I can venture out together. But here's what I got today...

At Play...

So here we are playing at the park on one of our warmer days. Cade had just gotten over the Croup, and little did I know, Beau would come home from the park with a low-grade fever. However, these capture my boys...at play. I not only love watching them play, and/or playing with them, but my most fun is playing with them through my camera's lens. I honestly, never know what I am going to get when I begin shooting. But isn't that alot like life, in of itself. Never knowing what each day holds, none of us knows. That is why we have to keep our eyes open...watching, waiting for that beautiful moment we've been waiting for to make it all worth our while.

You Are My Sunshine

As I was "helping" Cade get dressed this morning, it hit me that he must have grown three inches over night. His legs looked longer in his jeans and just yesterday morning, he couldn't even wear his cowboy boots anymore. (sad day for Cade)
So being the sentimental mommie that I am, I told him that he better stop growing up on me. To which he replied, "Mommie, I am not your baby anymore." After I removed the dagger from my heart and wiped a tear from my eye, I smiled and replied, "Oh yes, you will always be my baby."




"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
You make me happy when skies are grey.
You'll never know dear, how much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away."

"Shmo-me"

My third son. Smokey has roughly a dozen nicknames...but this one is my favorite. I even have the boys calling him that. He's loved by them, and loves them just as much. He truly is the sweetest, friendliest kitty we've ever had.

A Better Portrait...

In my last post I included my latest self portrait. At the time, I was satisfied overall by how they turned out. However, upon seeing this portrait, I stand corrected.

This portrait was drawn today by Beau. Upon seeing it, I immediately smiled and said (as Beau always does) "Now, this makes me happy." I then asked him to tell me all about this little guy he drew. First he pointed out his heart, and all the veins running to it, his big eyes and smile, and the grass he was standing on. And automatically, I could relate to his artwork in a way that Van Gogh's work could never do.

How could I relate, you wonder? Well, quite simply, I see me. I see what I feel like on the inside these days, but I also see hope. Despite this little guy's imperfections (art critics may say, I beg to differ), he still smiles. He still opens his arms to anything and anyone. And most importantly, he has a heart. No matter what hardships, or disappointments, that try to deter one from hope, or losing heart, he hasn't. And neither will I.

Me, Myself and I.

So, I inwardly battled whether or not to do this post...ya know, pictures of just me. Fearful that I may come across as vain, conceited, or you fill in the blank. But I decided I would post these pictures...for me. Not for you, or anyone else's approval or disapproval. It doesn't really matter.
Quite simply, I am the only person in my home that will be still long enough to be photographed and it not be blurry. And I had received the long lost lens (50mm) in the mail and missed playing around with it in the past six months. I had also come across some new little tricks on Photoshop that I enjoyed experimenting with. So, there you have it. My list of reasons why I felt justified in doing this post. Yet, I am still not satisfied.
My final reason is this...because I wanted to. That's it. I want to document my life in photos too, along with my boys and beautiful family I love so much. This is the face that is smiling behind all the photos you see on this blog. This is the woman who is starting to try for once in her life, to be comfortable in her own skin, unapologetically. This is me. I am loved by God, unconditionally. And maybe, just maybe, its time I start doing the same. Starting with me. According to the Jesus, I can't truly love others, if I am not loving myself...so here goes.
"You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these." Mark 12:31